power – My Mental Model

Where I Draw the Line with the Left

I spent a great deal of time and effort staying off the political spectrum. I strongly suspect that the political divide of left and right, or red and blue is a product of the governing class. Government reform would require a united voter base. So they divide and conquer.

Something I’ve observed is that those on the far ends of the political spectrum tend to have a great deal in common. They’re loud. They’re aggressive. They assume the moral high ground. They have questionable beliefs. And they aren’t very reasonable when those beliefs are challenged. I’m not the first to have noticed this either. I think it’s referred to as the horseshoe diagram, and it suggests that the silent majority tend to agree on most reasonable issues.

On this political spectrum, it’s been well documented when the right can go too far. Nazis. When a right-wing ideology starts talking about racial supremacy, that’s a red flag. When they start targeting those of a particular race or religion, blaming them for the country’s problems, that’s a red flag. When they start to deny science to advance their own political agenda, that’s a red flag. An entire generation of Germans learned that in the most painful of ways. So… if that’s where the right can go too far, do we not have similar standards for the left? Equality is not equality unless we are all held to account.

Jordan Peterson has made this question a cornerstone of his debates. He’s often confronted by media personalities who assume that he represents the ‘alt-right’. In most cases, he addresses that claim and acknowledges that while conservatism and tradition can have value, there is absolutely a point at which it goes too far. He often suggests Nazis are a clear example of when the right can go too far. He’ll then ask the interviewer if they could give an example of where the left has gone too far. In most cases, they can’t answer the question. I’ve tried it myself and had a similar experience. On the extreme ends of the political spectrum, it would seem as though you can do no wrong. As long as you’re fighting for a righteous cause, your actions are justified. But when both sides take this approach, and both sides believe in their righteousness, there is no middle ground.

I have no issues holding someone to account for a flawed ideology, regardless of it’s right, left, up, down or sideways. Today, I saw a tweet that was posted to social media that has motivated me to say something. This was a tweet by @legal_feminista. It said:

Let’s enter 2019 with the right energy:

Trans women are women. Sex work is work. Black lives matter. Rape culture is real. Yes all men. Fuck white supremacy. Abolish borders. Free Palestine. Protect indigenous rights. Support mental health. Believe women.

Normally, I wouldn’t pay much attention to something like this as I’ve seen or heard most of it before. But this tweet received about 60,000 likes and 17,000 retweets in about 48 hours. This perspective isn’t an outlier, it’s mainstream. So… let’s dig in and see what we find.

Trans women are women. That depends on how you define women. If gender is a social construct and not determined by biology, then sure, trans women are women. But what about biology? If gender is a social construct, surely, sex must be biological. Otherwise, we’re ignoring the significance of things like the female and male reproductive systems, or the Y chromosome. And what happens when trans women start using the natural advantages afforded to a biological male to put women at a disadvantage? There are now various stories about trans women dominating against female athletes. I’m not sure these competitors would agree that all trans women are women. At some point, I think we’ll have to acknowledge that there is a very real biological component to being a male or a female. But in addition to that, we have masculinity and femininity. Part biology, part psychology, part sociology.. this is what gives us masculine women and feminine men, and really masculine men and really feminine women. Traditionally, we thought that we should all be masculine men or feminine women and it forced many of us to pretend to be people we weren’t. Now we’re a little more open minded. Sex comes primarily in 2 flavors.. with a swirl here and there. But who we become as individuals, well that’s a flavor that’s unique to each individual. It includes how masculine or feminine you are, who you’re attracted to, how you choose to dress.. and as long as it’s consensual, it’s all good. I genuinely think that if we had a little more love for all the unusual ways we turn out, people would be more secure and confident in who they are and less consumed with trying to become someone else.

Sex work is work. Damn right. Got your back on this one sister. Making prostitution illegal is about as sensible as making alcohol and cannabis illegal. By pushing it into the shadows, you put good people at risk. By bringing it into the light, we give ourselves a chance of doing it right.

Black lives matter. Yes, because all lives matter. My issue with the black lives matters movement was that they weren’t on board with all lives matter. I agree that racism against black people exists. I agree that it shows up in matters of police brutality. But I disagree that police brutality is a race issue. Black lives matter had an opportunity to open their doors and champion an All Lives Matters movement that would’ve forced police everywhere to reevaluate how they interact with the public. It could’ve been the solution to police brutality for people of every color. It could’ve been an opportunity for the black community to be leaders for all of America. Instead, ‘all lives matters’ was understood to be an attempt at dismissing their cause or taking the spotlight off the black community. What a missed opportunity. And meanwhile, you have prominent leaders within the BLM community speaking about black racial supremacy to crowds of cheering fans.

Rape culture is real. Maybe. It depends on how you define it. Growing up, my understanding of rape was someone being held down against their will, being fully aware of the experience as it’s happening, kicking and screaming for help, and dealing with the emotional trauma afterwards. It was easy to understand that as one of the most terrible crimes a person could commit. I’m now told that if two people get drunk and have sex, they’ve effectively raped each other because you can’t consent if you’re drunk. I was also told that if a woman gives consent, but changes her mind during sex without telling her partner, if the partner continues, he’s a rapist. I think we’re losing sight of the difference between a violent rape and a regrettable sexual encounter. By no means am I condoning any behavior that remotely resembles rape, but I do think that it’s important to recognize degrees of severity. I think it would be more accurate to say that we have a culture of sexual harassment. But if you stop here without asking why, you’re missing half the equation. I don’t think men want the responsibility of pursuing women for sex. Most are terrible at knowing whether or not a woman is interested in them. Most are clueless at figuring out how to flirt. And most take rejection pretty hard. And to make it worse, in the same way that men have been socialized to pursue sex, women have been socialized to withhold it. If we’re going to find our way out of this mess, I think it starts with honesty and respect. Personally, I vote for women to take over the role of asking guys out for a bit.

Yes all men. No. This is literally sexism 101. It’s like saying that all women are neurotic. Or all black people are prone to crime. Or all Muslims are terrorists. Just because you’ve had bad experiences with some men doesn’t justify you treating all men with the same contempt.

Fuck white supremacy. Fuck all racial supremacy.

Abolish borders. Sure. but how? Who would you pay your taxes to? What area would your democratically elected official preside over? What would be the jurisdiction for the laws you voted for? Or was this just about firing back at Trump for garbage immigration policies?

Free Palestine. We should all look for opportunities to put the guns down and hash things out like like reasonable adults. Unfortunately, religion prevents that.

Protect indigenous rights. Or maybe recognize that indigenous rights, voluntary segregation, and systematic exploitation have destroyed America’s indigenous cultures. I think it’s time to try integration. There’s a great deal we can learn from Native American culture, including finding a more balanced relationship with nature. I think it’s about time we took a real look at their history, and show respect where respect is due. And once we’ve rewritten history to accurately reflect the role of Native American’s in the development of modern western culture, we can begin to heal. And part of that will be learning to heal as one family. If done right, indigenous rights should be no different than any other human rights.

Support mental health. Absolutely. Mental health isn’t as obvious as physical health… but can be that much more impactful. We’re waking up to this reality now.. and there’s a lot of work to be done.

Believe women. No. It would be just as foolish to say, ‘Believe men’. It’s interesting because the last time I saw this, it was ‘believe the victim’. But what happens when the victim is a man? Is it still so believable? The problem isn’t in who we believe, but rather the fact that we should to believe anyone in the first place. Believing someone is assuming they’re telling the truth without knowing if they are. Once you have evidence, you can understand whether or not someone is telling the truth. Without that evidence, you’re left with assumptions. While some women might think so what, it’ll do more good than harm, consider this: What would stop someone from paying a woman to make false claims against a man? Do you believe the woman? Or do you presume innocent until proven guilty? On multiple occasions, people have paid women to make false claims against men. If we believe all women, this will keep happening. No victim is worth abandoning the right to innocence until proven guilty. We should trust those who tell the truth. We should support those who have experienced hardship. We should hold accountable, those who caused harm to others. Regardless of what’s between your legs.

Truth & Reality, and why it matters (Part 2)

I take small breaks from writing here and there, but this one was different. I had written the first half of this entry with the intention of writing the second half shortly after. I struggled though. The rest of my life continued to bombard me with questions about what I thought truth and reality were. I wanted to be sure before I wrote anything else. I’m still not. But fuck writers block…

Last night, I was hanging out with one of my favorite people who happens to be going through some of the same challenges I’m going through. She came from a more conservative background, earned a business degree, worked in insurance for a while and eventually came to realize that there was a more liberal side to life that she had been missing out on. She’s now a yoga teacher who recently competed her schooling on holistic nutrition. She made the transition from the corporate crowd to what she calls the ‘woo woo’ crowd. It seemed like she was pretty happy about how it was all going.. peace and love to everyone. What could be wrong with that?

She dove in head first. She was greeted by sisterly love, magic, wonder, positivity, gratitude and all kinds of good vibes. From what I understand, it can be a very nice place. But she started to struggle a bit during some of the teachings when things got a bit religious. Ironically, much of this ‘new-age’ crowd borrows from ancient practices. From crystal healing, to chakras, to rituals that largely sound like witchcraft. At one point, she was at a yoga course which taught her to save the blood from her menstruation and pour it by a tree in a counter-clockwise fashion under a full moon. I might have gotten some of that wrong, but the point stands.

She told me that some of this was starting to feel a bit ‘witchy’. Something wasn’t sitting right.. and like that itch that you just can’t seem to scratch, she started asking questions. Some of those questions were directed at her peers. Some were directed towards me. As the weeks have gone by, we’ve both been trying to reconcile the spiritual with the scientific realm.

We know that science exists because science is simply the practice of accurately explaining our reality. If spirituality also exists, and exists within our reality, it can also be explained through science. Again, just because it’s possible to explain something through science doesn’t necessarily mean that we have those answers today. I think there’s something powerful to the idea that spirituality can be explained through science. Perhaps this separates those of us who are looking for the truth from those who aren’t.

When I think about the idea of science explaining spirituality, I think of Neil Degrasse Tyson’s Astrophysics for People in a Hurry. Reading that book is the closest thing to a religious experience I’ve ever had. It laid out the facts of the universe in such an eloquent way that you couldn’t help but feel a connection to everything else that has ever existed – A ‘oneness’ with the universe. Simple facts like there being more bacteria cells in your body than human cells can make you question who you really are. Suggesting that the same breath of air you’re taking now contains molecules of air which were breathed by the likes of Napoleon, Beethoven, and Lincoln reminds us of how interconnected our planet is. And knowing that we are stardust brought to life… provides all the beauty, wonder, and magic that I need to feel good about my place in the universe.

What were to happen if I were to bring these ideas to someone who was fundamentally religious? Would they keep an open mind? Would they engage in a genuine conversation in pursuit of the truth? If what was discussed made sense to them, would they consider changing their beliefs?

Probably not.

The scientific community has become fairly accustomed to writing off the religious crowd as unreasonable when it comes to challenging their beliefs. They might be reasonable in other areas of their lives, but their beliefs are their beliefs.

Never in my life did I consider myself to be religious. I spent most of my high school and university years considering myself an atheist. Eventually, I realized that despite all the knowledge and understanding that humans have acquired over the years, we were still in no position to determine whether or not ‘god’ is or was real. As far as I’m concerned, we’ve still yet to come up with a definition of god that we would all agree on. I liked this perspective though. It left the unknown within the realm of the unknown. No undue assumptions.. no beliefs.. just an appreciation of what we know and a sense of curiosity and excitement for what we may learn next. Add in a learned appreciation for a metaphorical understanding of the universe, and I started calling myself spiritual.

What I knew of the spirit was that while it may have no weight, emit no energy, or cease to exist when our physical bodies die, it was an intangible representation of what made us unique within the universe. Perhaps there was a connection to the realm of philosophy. That was an element of myself which I was glad to explore.

As the idea of spirituality started to grow outside of the religious crowd, I was happy. Being able to understand what’s beyond what we can see and touch is important. I was very much looking forward to connecting with these individuals and having these conversations. While I’m glad to have this perspective and share it with those who would listen, I seem to be the odd one out in the world of spirituality. As I’m starting to learn, spirituality has evolved into its own brand of religion.

When I think of the ‘spiritual crowd’, I’m starting to see them as a counter-balance of the religious right. Both can be a rather delightful crowd of people, especially if they consider you to be part of their tribe. But the further you go into the fringes of these demographics, the more radical their viewpoints become. Hmm… maybe that’s what I’m up against.

One of the more extreme views of the left seems to be postmodernism. As much as I’ve read, I’m still having a hard time defining it. Perhaps that’s the point. In the world of postmodernism, nothing is real. And if nothing is real, logic and reason can’t really exist. And if logic and reason don’t exist, truth becomes subjective.

…. And everyone lives their own truth.

There it is.

Originally part 2 was going to be my explanation of why truth and reality matters but it looks like I’m going to make this a trilogy.

Compelled Patriotism

There have been times where I’ve felt more patriotic than others, but generally speaking, I find it a little strange.

The times where I identified as a patriot, were times where I felt good about how my country was impacting others, and felt aligned with the values my country had displayed. That doesn’t happen so much these days. These days, it’s difficult to understand what a patriot really is and whether anyone should want to be one.

The NFL looks to have passed a new anthem policy. From what I understand, if you’re on the field, you have to stand for the national anthem. The president’s remarks were something to the effect of, ‘if you don’t want to stand, maybe you shouldn’t be play. Maybe you shouldn’t be in the country. If you’re not proud of the country, you shouldn’t be here.’ I’ve often said that Trump was going to be one of the best things to happen to this country. Not because he leads or inspires, but because he’s forcing us to ask questions which weren’t being asked.

What if you’re not proud of the country?

Google defines a patriot as a person who vigorously supports their country and is ready to defend it against enemies or detractors. Seems pretty straight forward. So where’s the nuance? I suppose it would be in how you define supporting your country, and who you determine to be the enemies or detractors.

Some people support their country by displaying the country’s branding as often as possible. Maybe I should’ve said flag or colors instead of branding, but which is more accurate? Some people support their country and defend it against enemies by joining the military and fighting overseas. But how did you know who our enemies were? Some people defend the country against detractors by protecting the commander and chief. But what do you think the commander and chief should be protected from? It seems as though patriotism has more to do with manipulation than it does with national pride.

I’ve struggled with the concept of pride recently, When to have it, why to have it, and when it’s too much. I grew up around ‘Azn Pride’.. it was kinda like white pride but Asian. More often than not, it was about screen names and gamer tags but from time to time, it meant more than that. It reminded people not be ashamed of where they were from or what they looked like, and gave them a sense of confidence and community among their peers. But there were also times where Azn Pride was about showing dominance over other groups. But what are you really proud of at that point?

Personally, I don’t think you can have patriotism without nationalism and nationalism never seems to work well out for anyone. Nationalism really is a game of us versus them on a global scale. Not only did we not have a say in where these lines on the map were drawn, we have no choice as to which side of the line we’re born to. Yet these lines are enforced vigorously. We are told that the people inside those lines are our brothers and sisters, and that the people outside those lines are potential threats. And yet our country was built upon those who came from outside the lines. And is under attack from those who were born here.

Perhaps patriotism is inherently flawed. Right now, it encourages us to protect our enemies and betray our communities. We’re told that we’re not patriotic when we don’t follow the direction of our president. When the values of our people, country, and president are no longer aligned, who deserves our loyalty? If patriotism is defined by a loyalty to a country, is that better understood as the people of that country, or those who are running it? People in government demanding loyalty sounds awfully undemocratic. In a democratic country, where democracy literally means government for the people by the people.. the answer seems rather obvious.

So what does democratic patriotism look like? Maybe it’s not necessarily an oxymoron. I think it looks like a celebration of the people. It’s a celebration of our diversity rather than a celebration of the red, white and blue. It’s building monuments to the people who are making the world a better place today rather than arguing over old civil war statues. It’s marching together for no more wars, and it’s marching together for no more police violence. It’s not just about celebrating our accomplishments, but about acknowledging our darker moments in arriving here. And you’re damn right that it’s about being able to take a knee during the national anthem to show your support for those the country has failed.

So what does patriotism look like when the lines between us and them disappear?

The Illusion Of Privacy

Every so often, I come up with an idea which I think is worth writing about. When I do, I make a note and then come back to it when I’m ready. This one is from December, but all the hype around Facebook and Cambridge Analytica suggested it was time.

There seems to be a fair bit of traction behind the #deletefacebook movement and I find that surprising. But then, less so.

We seem to be in an age where we quickly look for someone to blame. I can relate to looking at a problem and immediately looking to identify the cause, but there’s often a wide gap between the cause of a problem and someone you can blame. In many cases, the individual being blamed, even when ‘justified’, is a symptom of a bigger problem that isn’t being acknowledged. It’s why problems usually find ways to persist when you remove the symptom.

In a world where people are quickly looking to label the bad guy, I find a lot of people blaming businesses or technology. Something something corporations are ruining the world. Something something technology is destroying humanity. I find this perspective rather challenging. As far as I know, technology and business becomes rather hollow when you remove people from the equation. In that sense, both are extensions of our own humanity. Both are tools we’ve developed over time to help us accomplish more with less. Understanding that these tools are a reflection of our own humanity, we accept that we can be capable of both good and evil. From fireworks to gunpowder, from missiles to rockets.

What I’m getting at is that if we want to move past the blame game and start looking to solve the problems we’re facing, we need to look at the people. It’s people who are behind the development of this technology. It’s people who are behind the companies like Cambridge Analytica. And it’s people who are allowing themselves to be taken advantage of by both. So it’s about time we look at the people involved.

For the most part, I place very little responsibility on the tech developers at Facebook, or anywhere else for that matter. Almost every piece of technology that’s made, is made to solve a problem. If it doesn’t solve a problem, it becomes obselete. Throughout history, people have shown a desire to be more connected with one another. Technological advancements in transportation brought us from horseback riding to hyperloops. In communication, we went from telegraphs to texting. Along the way, we realize that we didn’t have to physically be in the same place to have a social interaction with someone. To some extent, we realized that we didn’t even need the other person to be there at all. Asian Avenue, Apartment 107, Black Planet, Myspace… all pre-cursors to Facebook and show a continuum of what we were trying to accomplish. The internet gave us this great platform where we could connect digitally instead of physically, and it was a dynamic that we clearly wanted to explore. Had it not been Facebook, it would’ve been someone else. And to think that this evolution stops at Facebook would be be unwise. Social Media wasn’t a lab experiment from Silicon Valley, it was a social evolution, started by, driven by, and consumed by people. Facebook just happens to be the playground we chose to play in today.

The blade is a tool, indifferent to whether it cuts the flesh of your enemies or a dinner for your friends. It’s the person who chooses how to use the tool. Could Facebook have made it more difficult for Cambridge Analytica to do what they did? Probably. What happened to #DontBlameTheVictim? Maybe it only applies to people.. Regardless, understanding what happened at Cambridge Analytica is definitely the fun part.

Cambridge Analytica was a firm who realized that Facebook could be used as a platform for modern political propaganda and did so with a high level of efficacy. That’s it. I’m trying to see why it’s more complicated and complex than this, and I don’t think it is. Propaganda isn’t a new or foreign concept. For as long as there’s been politics, there have been people trying to manipulate the message for the sake of political gain. And America has probably used those tools more frequently and effectively than any other government in the last 100 years. How much has been used against its own citizens and how much has been used in countries abroad is anyone’s guess. But just as propaganda found its way into print media, broadcast media, and digital media, it would surely make its way into social media.

Cambridge Analytica looks like they may have been up to some other shady political tactics. If they happened, it just strengthens the case that politics desperately needs to be removed from governance. But politics is how the powerful stay in power so perhaps that’s too big of a topic to tackle here. What is worth focusing on though is what Cambridge Analytica was able to do and why they were able to do it. After having watched all the hidden camera footage from Channel 4, one thing stood out to me more than anything else – their goal of targeting people’s fears.

The only thing that Facebook really provided Cambridge Analytica with were details on the things that you liked and didn’t like. The sinister part was when they took the details of each voter profile and used them to created targeted groups based on what they were most afraid of. If you were from a southern community which had lost jobs to immigrants, it was ‘build that wall’. If you were afraid of a change in gun legislation, it was ‘Hillary will take your guns’. If you were concerned with political corruption, it was ‘drain the swamp’. Whatever you were afraid of, they would play to your fears. While most people know that making decisions from a place of fear isn’t great, not everybody knows why. Turns out it’s literally the wrong part of the brain for making these decisions. The part of the brain which governs emotions like fear, is different from the part of the brain which governs rational thought. People are navigating this propaganda in an emotional state of mind instead of a rational state of mind. Instead of being able to think critically and rationally about the content that’s in front of them, they’re thinking emotionally and looking for an enemy.

And this is where I let Cambridge Analytica off the hook. They should be held accountable for what they did, but then, we should also be held accountable for what we let them do.

The first few times I saw a juicy headline on Facebook, I definitely clicked through. Juicy headlines and misdirection have been around since well before the Facebook news feed so it’s not like I was being duped, I was just sufficiently curious. But each time was a let down. The headline was always better than the content. So I learned to stop clicking on what was eventually termed ‘click-bait’. Seemed straight forward.

Over time, digital publications like BuzzFeed and Vice started popping up on my timeline. They were far more legitimate than the click-bait articles I was used to, but something else was going on. These publications also realized they had tapped into fear. The fear of being a racist, the fear of being a sexist, the fear of being transphobic, and perhaps most importantly, the fear of being on the wrong side of a movement which seemed to be based on the virtuous pursuit of equality. Their approach was more nuanced than Cambridge Analytica. Instead of pushing raw propaganda to their audience, these digital publications started editing interviews or not properly sourcing articles, looking to craft a narrative which their audience was hungry for. They were more interested in providing a narrative which made you feel good about what you already thought. When you think you have the moral high ground, confirmation bias can be a dangerous thing.

But not everyone fell for it.

Not everyone took Jordan Peterson’s Vice interview at face value. Not everyone liked or shared memes saying ‘The South Will Rise Again’. Not everyone saw a comment section where everyone was agreeing with them and jumped right in. Not everyone avoided a perspective that challenged their own. And for those who did debate, not everyone approached it as a battle of them versus us. Some of us couldn’t help but look at it as us versus the problem.

The problem isn’t privacy. The problem isn’t Facebook. The problem isn’t even Cambridge Analytica or the shady politicians they help put in positions of power. The problem is us.

The problem is us.

When tools stop working, people stop using them. Propaganda is the tool, and it will be used as long as we keep letting it work. If we #deletefacebook, I can all but guarantee that this propaganda will follow us whichever social media channel we choose to spend those hours. If we put the team at Cambridge Analytica behind bars, I can all but guarantee that another organization will take its place. So why is our reaction still to place blame instead of facing the reality that this is about accountability.

If you think that sharing information about yourself makes you a better target for people looking to take advantage of you, welcome to the world. But there’s hope.. and perhaps things are darkest before dawn.

I’ve learned to live my life like an open book. I’ve abandoned the illusion of privacy. I understand that information is more valuable when fewer people have it, but I also understand that knowledge is most valuable when everyone has it. Digging deep on why people value privacy, it almost always comes back to a fear of what others will do with their private information. So I choose to live without a fear of what others would do if they knew everything about me.

And – it – is – glorious!

I really couldn’t care less if Facebook showed to the public: my health records, my genealogy, my personal finances, my relationship history, purchasing behaviour… all of it. To some extent, I wish they would. I would gladly take that risk to try and demonstrate that transparency isn’t itself a risk. In reality, our ability to share more information with one another has been at the core of every big leap forward our species has taken. From a spoken language, to a written language, to the printing press, to the internet. We just seem to have momentary lapses in judgement where we’re afraid of what will happen when only some of us can access that information.

We’ve now arrived at a point where between Facebook, Google, Apple and the NSA, there isn’t much that isn’t known about us. The data is already being collected and unless you’re keen to go live off the grid, it won’t stop. Who gets access to that data is largely out of our control. There will always be bad actors with innovative ideas on how to abuse that dynamic… which means we either have to accept that we’re screwed, or find a way to rise above it. I choose to rise above it.

My choice is that when someone takes the time to learn about me, and to use that information to take advantage of me, I’m prepared. Not only am I prepared to be critical of the information I’m being presented with, I’m also prepared to be critical of my own actions if I allow myself to be misled. It’s not always easy and I’m not always perfect, but when you let go of right and wrong and prioritize the truth, seeing through the noise becomes much easier.

I think that everyone’s life will be impeded by dishonesty and misdirection at some point, but I think it’s worth considering that it’s our tendency to be dishonest with ourselves which impedes our progress most. A fear of how others might perceive us and how that might impact our lives. But what happens when we let that fear guide us? What happens when everyone had the ability to project to the world what they thought the world wanted of us? Social Media gave us that ability and we’ve used it to create noise. It’s a feedback loop of confusion where people struggle to understand the disconnect between how we present ourselves and who we really are. And the closer we get to facing the truth, the louder we yell ‘Privacy!’

Or we could just let go. When I imagine a world that has abandoned the premise of privacy, I see a world which has embraced the value of transparency. I see a world that has truly realized the value of honesty. A world where every piece of information is always available to every person. I can’t help but think about that being the ultimate equalizer.

Power Vs. Strength

When dealing in abstract concepts like these, it can be difficult to have a real conversation without first agreeing on how to define the terms. I think that a lot of people use power and strength interchangeably, yet I can’t help but think that they differ in very important ways.

Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. I was taught that quote by a very influential history teacher in high school and it has continued to echo through my mind since. I can’t help but be reminded of it when I see people in positions of power put the needs of the few before the needs of the many. It’s as if there’s something inherently inefficient about power.

When I think of strength, it’s similar to power. But not quite. Strength is almost like the potential of power. Unused power. A visual of strength does not require a display of aggression. Perhaps there’s a duality here. Is power to offense as strength is to defense?

It’s interesting, you could say that someone is both powerful and weak at the same time. A frail old king is both re(g)ally powerful and physically weak. Politicians are known for having political power but weak integrity. Movies are constantly filled with villains who wield vast power, but lack a strength of character. I’m not sure if I know of any villains who have a great strength of character, but wield little power. In many cases, is that not the hero? The unassuming, jacked, strong jaw line with a warm smile kinda hero?

Analyzing this in the abstract is usually a journey down the rabbit hole, but there are some examples that help me clarify what I’m thinking.

Name calling has gotten out of control. For most of my life, I was taught not to feed into it. To walk away. To appreciate that the person doing the name calling is probably doing so because they’re battling their own demons. It was tough when I was younger but it’s second nature now. Now, when someone’s hostile towards me, I’m much more likely to view the situation with compassion than anger and I can’t help but think that makes me strong. Moving through life, invulnerable to the malicious attitudes of others is really something else… I highly recommend it.

Yet I seem to be in the minority. Rather than seeing it as an issue of personal strength, compassion, and helping someone move beyond their own issues, it’s about power. The victim being name called is no longer interested in making themselves stronger, they’re interested in becoming more powerful. This is the era of the victim shaming the bully.

If we could teach everyone the simple philosophy of not taking things personally, the effectiveness of name calling would disappear. When something is no longer effective, we tend to stop using it. We become stronger, we become wiser, and we move forward. Instead, we’re more interested in giving the victims the power to hurt them back. Laws are being changed for compelled speech. What does being triggered in this context mean? What happens when being triggered is an excuse to tap into that power?

I also can’t help but see this dynamic in women’s empowerment. I remember finding out that I was a feminist back in university because I believed in equality. It made sense to me that men and women were different but equal. But I struggle to resonate with parts of modern feminism. There seems to be this pursuit of equal outcome over equal opportunity. A denial of inconvenient biology. A tendency to deal in absolutes instead of nuances. And what drives it all, seems to be a pursuit of power over the pursuit of equality.

I don’t think it’s that complicated either. For decades, centuries, or millennia (however you want to look at it), men have been powerful. They’ve ruled, they’ve warred, they’ve killed, they’ve raped, and they’ve pillaged. Things are different now. In an age of equality, women want to be powerful too. They’re no longer looking for a seat at the table, now they want equal rights to be the asshole boss at the table. I suppose that is equality, I suppose I’m just a little bummed out that there isn’t a motivation to be better.

I sometimes joke that I feel sorry for Hilary Clinton for having lost the 2016 election. She could’ve been a role model for feminism. She lost when she ran against Obama, but had the composure to pick her self up and run again. Then she went up against one of feminism’s greatest foes, keeping her composure throughout. Had it not been for Russian interference, she probably would’ve won that presidency. She couldn’t have been a role-model for feminism, right? One of the bigger reasons why Hilary lost, was because for many, she was indistinguishable from the Washington establishment. She literally spent her entire career learning how to play within a corrupt, man’s world to the point where she probably played it better than anyone else – Just in time for the American public to be fed up with it. I felt bad for women that they missed out on their first female president, but I had hope.

My hope is that the first woman to be elected president, be the jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring, locomotion of intelligence, strength, integrity and all the qualities of a great leader, but without the sacrifice of feminine qualities like compassion, intuition, and ability to nurture. I want her to be able to set the bar. Not just for future women, but for future men and politics in general. I want her to inspire us to look up to women, not to reasons to avoid looking down on them.

In the pursuit of equality, women are looking at men, and trying to draw the line 50/50 through it all. You don’t want it all. A lot of it is garbage. Please don’t take the garbage too. We’d all be way better off if we could leave it behind, and this is an opportunity to do so. This power isn’t something you want, it’s something that none of us should want. We need to let it go. But we need help. We need a little leadership.

It’s not power that you want, it’s strength. It can be tough to tell the difference when you look at the people holding you down and the most obvious difference between you is power. But they’re not strong. That’s why your strength makes their power irrelevant.

You can have a world where everyone is strong, but not a world where everyone is powerful. For someone to be powerful, someone else must be powerless. Strength however, resides within. A world in which everyone pursues power is chaos. A world in which everyone pursues inner-strength is peace.